I feel like I have to write this morning as today is the day I put my precious children on a plane and send them to California. I’ll be right behind them, but my journey will take a bit longer and I’m going to miss them terribly in this short time we are apart. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, maybe my emotions are a culmination of the past weeks ‘saying goodbyes’. Either way, I’m an emotional mess inside this morning.
I guess I got enough out of Texas, as the tears well up in my eyes. It’s been my home since 1995. It’s been an on again, off again relationship as I’ve attempted to live elsewhere over the years. I managed to stay in Florida for 5 years, visiting TX often. My family is here after all, they’re all here.
The lingering question I have is: why couldn’t it have all worked out different? What sacrifices should I have made to ‘make things better’? Is there anything I could have done? I’m pretty sure I turned over every stone.
It’s really hard to leave but it’s even harder to stay. Every fiber of my being says go. So we go.
We don’t have a home there yet. The apartment we thought we had, fell through at the last minute. Very poor communication with the landlords. They somehow thought we were moving in, the day we were set to sign the lease. I am afraid. But even still, every intuitive bone in my body says go. Airline is paid for, hotel stays are paid for, all non-refundable. It’s a little embarrassing sharing this information as it could appear as though I’m making a huge mistake bringing my family to California without a home to go to. If there is anything I have learned over the last several years it’s to trust my intuition, my gut.
Wish us well and say a prayer, our journey has just begun.
Much Love, Julie
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